I remember many years ago stumbling upon a TV movie that has been ingrained into my brain ever since. It was a true story about a young girl named Liz Murry, and the hardships she endured as she fought her way to victory. It showed her as a young girl living in the Bronx, with two parents continually strung-out on coke. They were severe drug-addicts, and because of this Liz lived in poverty, and without reliable parents to care for her and her sister. She would dumpster-dive for food, and steal. She was bullied and teased in school because she “smelled”.
When she was 15 years old, her mother died of AIDs, and when her father was unable to pay their rent, they lost the flat they lived in. Her dad moved to a homeless shelter, her sister stayed with a friend, and Liz was left to live on the streets. Let me tell you, the movie tore at my insides. Liz was alone and on her own. Her home became the city’s underground trains, and park benches. At first, she fell under the victim-trap, but eventually she became determined to change her life.
I have found there are generally two types of people.
Type 1) Play the blame-game. They can’t find their purpose or move forward in life because they blame their parents, their upbringing, their lack of finances, their job loss, their divorce, their grief, their abuse, their rape, and on and on and on… you fill in the blank. There is always an excuse for why they won’t move forward, and their reasons are usually someone else’s fault. (justified or unjustified)
Type 2) The hero’s. They learn from their past and move forward. Exp: Yes, I was raped, but I received professional help in order to move on with my life. God allowed this terrible thing to happen to me because he wanted me to go back to school to become a lawyer. Now I’m able to prosecute rapist, child-molesters, stalkers, etc. Or, God allowed me to be raped so I could have the knowledge to fight congress, and get a new bill passed in legislature, Or, God allowed me to be raped so I could become a counselor and help other women who are victims of this terrible act. You get my point.
Type 1’s) Remain stunted for life, unless they learn to turn their thought process around. Turn their thoughts to God, and not to their hardships.
Type 2’s) Move forward. They don’t allow the things the devil throws in their path to deter them from the life purpose God has planned for them.
Right now, you may be saying, “Easy for you to say Coach!”
Type 1’s are probably upset with me right now. But I ask that you don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Type 1’s look at Type 2’s and think that they have perfect lives. They think they haven’t been through tough times, that they haven’t suffered the same way they have. But guess what? We ALL go through traumatic situations. Some of the happiest, nicest, most beautiful people in the world have went through horrific times in their lives. But they didn’t stay there. They didn’t live in the past, reliving the trauma over and over in their minds daily. Instead they made a goal, and they made the absolute best of their terrible situation. Trust me when I tell you that I understand. God has allowed me to make, go through, be victim of, and move forward from (TYL) MANY horrific, sad, and painful times in my life. (Abuse, abandonment, identity theft, stalking, divorce, etc. Quite seriously? This is just “some” of the things I’ve went through in my life… but I will bore you no further.)
Please, please, please do whatever you can (and I can help you with this if you need me) not to fall into the victim-trap. Plain and simply there is absolutely NOTHING the devil wants more than for you to become imprisoned in your own grief, traumas, bad memories, etc. He wants you to continue playing the blame-game. But I know that you are strong enough to overcome that. If you’re in the middle of this battle right now, I want you to remember how strong you are. You are a warrior, and God has amazing plans for you. It’s time to turn-it-around, because… there comes a day in our lives when we need to grow-up! (Sorry, as a Life-Coach I’ve been known to tell it like it is.) We “all” have a purpose in this life, and we absolutely can’t get swayed from it. And here’s the kicker, “You will never find your true purpose in life, when you remain stunted “in” your past”.
… now back to Liz Murry’s story. Liz’s father eventually died from AIDS just like her mother did, and sadly Liz found herself falling into the victim and rebellion trap.
Until she remembered something her momma used to say to her, “I’ll fix my life one day.
She realized that her mother died without fulfilling any of her dreams, and she remembered all the times her mother would tell her that, and how her mom never fulfilled that promise. She made up her mind right then that she was NOT going to follow in that direction. Instead, she was going to make a difference!
Although she had no where to live, and hadn’t attended high-school in 2 years, she decided at age 17 that she was going to go back school and become an all-A student. She also set a goal to complete her high-school education in a two-year timeframe. So, what happened? She worked her arse off! She did a year’s worth of work a semester AND went to night-classes. One of the people who really stood out to me in the film was her teacher, who noticed just how hard she was working and took extra time out of her life to mentor her (let’s take a moment to applause all of our underpaid teachers out there!).
Liz visited Harvard with her high-school class and fell in love with the college. She applied for a New York Times scholarship that was being offered to needy local students. They were looking to make a difference for kids who had overcame obstacles. Not only did she get the scholarship ($12,000/yr) but readers of the paper were so touched by her story that they also donated $200,000.
Some of you may be saying, “Well, I’d like to go to college.” “I’d like to get a scholarship.” “I’d like to do this.” “I’d like to do that.” My question to you is, what are you doing to make that happen? Listen, God wants nothing but the best for you, and he is just waiting for you to reach out to him. He will show you the right direction when you have faith and follow him. I can help you with guidance, tips, and coaching… but you need to put in the challenging work. Are you ready to take that first step? If so, go to my contact tab, and reach out to me to schedule a phone appointment. It’s never too late to become what you might have been. -Cato
Photo of Liz Murray, from Post-gazette.com
Liz Murray … take a peeksy
“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out” (Proverbs 20:5).
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails” (Proverbs 19:21).
“But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth” (Exodus 9:16).
“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted” (Job 42:2).
If you enjoyed Liz Murray’s story… take a gander at Amy Purdy’s (follow the link below).
Amy Purdy: How to live beyond your limits, video from Goalcast. Take a peeksy!
“Lord, I pray that you touch each person who reads this post, that they may remember just how special you created them to be! That they are able to reach down into the depths of their soul and recollect that they are one of your warriors, and there’s nothing they can’t do when they are living their life for you! Lord, I pray that they quit the blame-game, or the victim-game, and that you show them exactly “why” they went through their difficult times. Just as you’ve taught me, that often it’s in the pit of ugliness where we discover our blessing unfold.”
God bless each and every one of you!!! God’s blessings, love and light over you ALL.
Coach –Su Hamm Woods–
Ps. This is my new Coaching site, but you can also find my other blog at: Coach Su’s other blog: Lupus: a glimpse into my life